​What Was So Great About the Good Old Days?
 
Not all of the past was golden, that's for sure. Poverty, wars, racial injustice, epidemics: there are many things that were not better in the so-called Good Old Days. But the old-time pleasures are still great to look back on and recall. Sharing memories of good times past with others can make new memories and pass along important values.
 

• TV was great

There have always been plenty of failures on television, but who can forget such gems as "I Love Lucy" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show," as well as "Good Times" and "Mission: Impossible"? In half an hour, a family could learn to trust each other, a crabby neighbor could be softened or an important mission could be accomplished with minimal bloodshed. Language in almost every show was safe for young and old to hear and repeat.
 

• Cars were great

Get a group of citizens over 65 together and sooner or later, the topic will turn to the cars they loved or hated. Who doesn't have a story about a "lemon" or the car they learned to drive in or a beauty that they restored by hand? Car safety and function may be improving all the time, but nothing can be better than those beautiful old designs.
 

• People we loved were still around

A great way to honor those who have passed before is to talk about them. One philosophy is that people never die as long as they are remembered. Sure, Uncle Fred might have seemed grumpy or Grandmother might have had many health problems, but sharing their stories is a great way to keep them alive.
 

• Everything felt better

Of course it didn't, but as aging and mobility issues become more prominent in lives of elders, the past starts to feel like a time of no pain or worries. Roller-skating is recalled without the hurt of the skinned knees. A child is a joy, never mind about child-bearing. Even losses and heartaches soften over time, and reflection can lead to a new, peaceful view of past times.
 
But while remembering things from the past that were loved and fun, it can be important to look around at the present, appreciating advances in medicine and convenience, enjoying technology and advancing ideas, and valuing what has been made much better, so that each day can be one of the "Good New Days."
 
Prairie Homestead
yvonne@prairiehomestead.org
prairiehomestead.org
1605 W. May Street
Wichita KS 67213
(316) 263-8264
 

Some say that "growing old is no fun," but there's no need to subscribe to that pessimistic theory. Retirement is no longer sitting in a rocking chair watching others enjoy life. There are plenty of ways to still have fun as seniors.
 
1. Take a Walk
            While jogging or Zumba might not look so good anymore, taking a walk is one of the best ways to keep healthy. Even a stroll around the block or up the hallway and back can add to a senior's strength, balance, heart and lung function and eyesight. During a walk, one can look around for things of interest: nesting birds, new housepaint colors, children at play or new models of cars.
 
2. Write
            Many seniors are frustrated that their family members don't have time to really visit anymore. A solution is to start some creative writing. Even if one thinks one's life was routine or ordinary, everyone has real stories, heartbreaks, obstacles and successes to pass along to others. An older adult can jot down notes about their time in a war or their reactions to a historical event. Maybe share some gardening secrets or memories of a teaching career. The budding writer might have some hilarious tales to tell. If hand-writing is hard, enlist a younger relative to "take dictation" for an hour or so at a time or use a small recording device. The process of writing can actually prevent age-related brain shrinkage!
 
3. Play a Game
            Whether one plays alone—like solitaire or a jigsaw puzzle—or in a group (think Pinochle or Spoons), the brain activity provided by counting, guessing, figuring and laughing is a tremendous advantage to health. A weekly "game night" can also provide something to look forward to.
 
4. Take the Stage
            Many residential or worship centers provide activities for seniors to act, sing, dance or put on shows. Cardiovascular health, serotonin levels, balance and memory can all be helped by getting creative in these active ways. 
 
5. Take the Plunge
            Swimming can be a safe and healthy way for seniors to spend time. It's easy on the joints and can help fight osteoporosis, while being a calming way to lower blood pressure and increase strength. A class at a local gym or community pool might be geared especially to seniors.
 
Prairie Homestead
yvonne@prairiehomestead.org
prairiehomestead.org
1605 W. May Street
Wichita KS 67213
(316) 263-8264
 

After a long, isolated time during the COVID-19 pandemic, there are still many questions about what safety precautions are necessary. Most residential care facilities follow strict guidelines about rules and regulations which will help keep residents safe and healthy. But what are sensible guidelines for getting out into daily life now that many have had vaccines?
 
Am I Safe from the Virus?
 
As of two weeks after your final vaccination (some come in two doses, some in one), the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) advises that it is safe for you to be in an indoor group of people who have all been vaccinated, without having to wear a mask. An extended-family dinner or birthday party is considered fine in this scenario. Say hello to your family and friends again. Game night is on!
 
Who is Still at Risk?
 
It's still wise to be extra careful if you have an immune-deficiency condition, have recently had or are having chemotherapy, or if you are an older citizen. Washing hands is still a great idea, and if you have any doubts about the health of others you might gather with, stay away. Some people, those with certain health conditions or young children, cannot be vaccinated. Others may choose not to be. There are still risks of transmission of the COVID-19 virus and its variations.
 
Whom Can I Trust?
 
With many rumors and media articles giving out theories galore, it's hard to know what is right or wrong, but consulting your Personal Care Physician is always the best idea. With their help, you can make well-informed personal decisions about your health care. Your own experiences from the past (such as living through the polio epidemic or hearing stories of epidemics) should add to your information-gathering.
 
What Advice Do Professionals Give?
 
Health-care professionals, from the CDC to emergency care nurses, still advise that the best way to stay well is to get vaccinated. Keep wearing a mask in crowded conditions. Eat on the patio instead of a crowded restaurant, if the option is available. Avoid huge crowds, concerts, movie theatres. Stay out of unventilated buildings. There is no situation in which there is no risk, but after having a vaccine, your life can begin to open up again. 
 
Prairie Homestead
yvonne@prairiehomestead.org
prairiehomestead.org
1605 W. May Street
Wichita KS 67213
(316) 263-8264

Do you actually listen to what your senior friend has to say or do you assume that you already know? If your conversation topics are usually the weather or what happened on a favorite television show, you might want to find out more about your loved one by digging a little deeper. You could have a richer relationship and be better able to help improve the life of your special senior. You might find them saying things like:

• We have valuable things to share. Seniors have wide experiences and many insights. They've lived through economic depressions, wars, political battles, the scandals of celebrities, and societal shifts. Reading about other times in history books is one thing, but listening to seniors can give you a vivid picture of noteworthy events and private insights.
• We don't always need to be cheered up.  It's okay to talk about hard issues, like illness, upcoming medical procedures, matters of faith, even death. These things are on the minds of most people, no matter what their age. Trying to put on a cheerful attitude at all times can close you off from hearing the real fears or expectations of your senior loved one. 
• Do our grandchildren know about us? Seniors may love hearing about the ballet recitals, ball games, graduations and new babies of the younger generations, and sharing pictures of these moments with them can be precious. But seniors have lived full lives themselves: danced, played sports and raised families. They went to school, started careers, failed at things, found love and lost loved ones. Take time to ask about these events from the past.
• There are things you don't know about us. People from earlier eras might have hidden information about divorces, mental health, children given in adoption or other sensitive matters. Upon reflection, your loved one may be ready to pass along information to you that could be helpful to understand family relationships or health patterns. Make sure that your senior knows that they can confide in you without being judged and be prepared for what you might hear!
• Your help is appreciated.  A senior might want to talk to an old friend or distant relative but negotiating the telephone or Zoom could be just too complicated. New prescriptions or treatments can be confusing without help from someone who cares. Simply offering to be there to help with a phone call or doctor visit can be an act of love for a senior.

 
There are also times that you can spend together, without talking, simply enjoying each other's company.  Play some music from the past, hymns from their faith, holiday songs, or their dance music.  Looking through an old book or magazine together could be an opening for an important conversation. Seniors have had lives which might surprise you, cause you sadness or delight you, but you will do yourself and your loved one a service by listening to what they want to say.
 
Prairie Homestead
yvonne@prairiehomestead.org
prairiehomestead.org
1605 W. May Street
Wichita KS 67213
(316) 263-8264
 

Visiting a senior relative might not look like fun to a toddler or a teenager. The expectation that they will sit quietly in an unknown environment and told to stay off their hand-held devices can certainly be off-putting to the younger generation. However, the attitude of the adults who arrange the visits between grandchildren and grandparent, for instance, can have a major influence on how much everyone gets out of the relationship. There are things that you can do to make the combination of youth and age produce more harmony than complaint.
 
1. Show your children that you are eager to go. Phrases like "We have to visit Gramps" or "I know you don't want to go, but Aunt Rose wants to see you" set up an expectation of failure. Try suggesting, "Let's see if we can ask Granny to tell us about the clothes teenagers used to wear" or "Did you know that Uncle Frank used to play semi-pro baseball?" There may be interesting things in the senior living homes to excite young visitors, too, like aviaries, fish tanks, game rooms, or live music. 
 
2. Invent some games to help seniors and young people interact. Make a set of conversation cards that your children can share with their senior friend, both answering, "What was your favorite subject in school?"  or "Did you ever go to a live concert?" "Who was your first crush from the movies or television?" or "What food do you never want to see on your plate?" may inspire some deep sharing or a lot of giggles. Either way, the generations will learn about each other. Another time you might have a spelling bee with the words from your first grader's list.
 
3. Find out about other people in the senior living facility. By greeting others who live in the same area as your loved one, you can show your children that all people matter. If you take a treat or decoration to your own friend, you can take along extras for your child to give to roommates or table mates. Even little children can make greeting cards; shy youngsters can offer a small flower; or preteens can demonstrate a magic trick. Ask your teen what they might share: a piano piece, a rap song, the recollection of an amazing play in that week's football game. If they are prepared in advance, they may be less hesitant to open up to loved ones and strangers alike.
 
4. Teach your young people something about their senior loved one. Go through the photo album before your visit. Point out that Grandma was once a bride, Cousin Ted was a champion bowler, Auntie Fran had red hair and thirteen children! Little details about your relative's life can show your youngsters that these are real people whom they will visit, not just someone aging or unknown. Empathy is a skill which can be taught.  Don't forget: they may be visiting you someday!
 
Prairie Homestead
yvonne@prairiehomestead.org
prairiehomestead.org
1605 W. May Street
Wichita KS 67213
(316) 263-8264
 
 

​Talking (and Listening) to Your Senior Loved One
 
As people age, conversation can become more difficult. Your senior friend or relative may be just as interested as ever in what you have to say, but physical changes can simply make it too hard to talk and listen. As bones age and change shape, the function of the rib cage is affected. Muscles associated with breathing can also weaken. Years of smoking or exposure to chemicals, decreased heart function and obesity make it harder to speak loudly and clearly or to sustain conversation for a period of time. Hearing decreases, too, and constantly straining to hear is stressful. 
 
You may have traveled a long way or taken time away from your job to visit with your loved one, only to confront long silences and awkward pauses. But there are ways to make your visit with your friend comfortable and meaningful for both of you.
 

• Visit in the morning. Older adults have better cognitive function earlier in the day. Planning your visit between 8:30 and 10:30 in the morning may find your loved one energetic and alert. Cut down the length of your visit, as well, so that neither of you tires or loses focus. Don't forget to come back often.
• Face your friend. As hearing dulls, people automatically do a certain amount of lip-reading. Make sure that you and your friend are facing each other at a distance close enough to share conversation. Don't seat anyone facing the sun and ensure that the lighting in the room is good. 
• Speak clearly. Sharing a meal can be fun, but eating and clear conversation don't mix. If you are having a snack together, make sure that you put down your fork or cup before speaking in order to focus on the face of your loved one. Speak slowly, but not in an unnatural manner. 
• Use other social cues. Patting a shoulder, smiling broadly, looking serious, holding up a hand: these are all visual cues that help others understand what you are trying to communicate. If you are sharing a joke, be sure to smile or nod. If you need to say something important, touching your friend may help get and keep their attention.
• Give them plenty of time. It takes effort and time not only to hear, but to understand what has been said. Repeat if necessary and give your loved one enough time to "digest" what you have communicated. Don’t rush from subject to subject.

 
Most important of all, in communicating with your senior loved one, is to remember to listen. If you hurry in, say what's on your mind, and rush away, the other person may never have a chance to express what they have been thinking about. They have years of experience and plenty of time to reflect over a long life, and it will be a blessing and benefit to make sure they have time to talk. A great opening question is, "What do you want me to know today?" You may learn a fascinating story of their childhood, a forgotten bit of history or just how much they love and appreciate your visit.
 
Prairie Homestead
yvonne@prairiehomestead.org
prairiehomestead.org
1605 W. May Street
Wichita KS 67213
(316) 263-8264